


Embrace the Dark

by NohrianScum (OrderOfRevan)



Series: Noscu's Corriander Collection [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Artistic Liberties, Character Study, F/M, Pining, Retelling of an S Support, Two Blocks of Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-07 17:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrderOfRevan/pseuds/NohrianScum
Summary: Corrin vowed to help Xander bear the burden of Nohr, she simply didn't expect to have to bear the burden of her own heart whenever she looked into his eyes.





	1. Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Did I need another story?
> 
> No.
> 
> Did I write one anyway?
> 
> Yes.

The port at Cyrkensia was dark at night, the docks creaking under foot as Corrin walked along them, the image of the Chevian citizens screaming in terror dancing behind her eyes every time she closed them. The large inn she and her small force had commandeered for the night felt stifling, the walls closing in on her the more she sat in one place with nothing to occupy her.

At least out here the cool, salty air provided some sort of reprieve, even if she personally felt she looked ridiculous walking around on the dock with no shoes in a pair of old trousers and her nightshirt. Still, the feeling of the wood underneath her feet was grounding, and the chill of the air felt good on her flushed skin. 

Heaving a sigh, she looked around the eerily empty port, cleared of civilian vessels after the battle there earlier this evening. Father had ordered it shortly before he’d left back north with Iago and Hans, and now all that was left was to wait for the remaining forces to amass so that they could set out for Hoshido. It wasn’t something she was looking forward to in the least bit, going back there after so long just to be the herald of their destruction, but… 

But she needed to, or she might never have the chance to unmask Father as what he truly was. 

Slowly she sunk into a seated position, pulling her legs to her chest and staring out at the dark waters. It was night here so only the stars shone above her, the morning moon having long ago set to plunge the world in an even deeper darkness. She was used to it, used to the oppressive black sky now reflected in the waves, but it felt less like home after everything that had happened to her. 

For a moment she lost herself in her own thoughts, listening to the sound of the waves against the wharf, drawn from them by the sound of armored boots striking cobblestone and then wood. Head snapping up, she found herself looking up into a familiar face, brow perpetually furrowed in deep and brotherly concern.

Others would call it a scowl, of course, but…

But Corrin knew better.

“Xander,” she muttered softly, the tension immediately leaving her body at the sight of him, “what are you doing here?” 

“I finished the task Father assigned me,” he replied, slowly lowering himself to the boards beside her. “I could ask you the same, little princess. Shouldn’t you be asleep at this hour?”

She could tell by the smell of him that he had just rode in, by the way his curls clung to a sweaty forehead, but she was used to it after years of spending her time training underneath him. In a way it was a comfort to see him like this, even though she had only ever been in battle with him a scant handful of times. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, turning her eyes back to the waves. “Not for the usual reasons, either, I just… I just have a lot on my mind.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him frown sharply before he reached out to unfasten a gauntlet, using his teeth to loosen one of the straps. The metal made a hollow noise as it hit the wood below them, his leather glove following it in short work before he reached out to run his hand tenderly through her hair. 

“Cheve,” he said quietly.

The word broke her, his hand so gentle that it somehow only served to wear away at her guard. Throwing herself at him, Corrin buried her face against his chest as the lump in her throat and the burning in her eyes finally overcame her. Armor made it uncomfortable, but she couldn’t care less, not when he wrapped one arm around her and held her tightly against him as she sobbed, her one real comfort, her harbor in the storm that had become her life. 

“They were our people, Xander,” she managed at least through her strangled sobs. “He killed our own people! And then he wanted me to be happy about it! I don’t… I don’t understand… I …”

For awhile Xander was quiet, making her wonder if he had any answers for her at all, but then he pulled away. She looked up into his face, feeling at a loss for his warmth, until she realized that he’d all but tossed off his second gauntlet.

His face looked openly distressed, bright eyes filled with concern for her as he reached out and cupped her face in his calloused hands, wiping away her tears. “I am sorry, little princess,” he said, “this is my fault. I did not properly prepare you for the reality of life underneath Father. If I had... “

He breathed in deeply and shook his head, Corrin leaning into his touch, covering his hands with her own. “I don’t know that I could have believed you, Xander. I had to see it. But … You… How have you…”

“There are things Father asks,” Xander replied, gently shaking his head to silence her, “things that are impossible to watch. The only consolation you can take in those situations is to understand that you may be able to one day save lives by surviving his wrath.” 

The words weren’t very comforting, but Corrin was quickly realizing that the world beyond her walls wasn’t anything like she thought it might be. How long had Xander and the others been hiding the people she knew so well behind masks of cold indifference or quiet compliance? Did Garon see his children at all as they really were? People who risked their lives every day just to make sure that his people didn’t suffer as much as they would have otherwise?

Did even the people appreciate it at all? 

Would they ever understand how much Xander loved them?

Carefully, Corrin moved her hands to cup his face in turn. She watched surprise flicker across his features, his mouth opening as if he were prone to say something, though the words seemed to catch in his throat. She stroked her hands over his noble features, a strange feeling settling inside her stomach as if she were seeing him for the first time, her stern, moral brother’s face turning gentle as he looked at her. 

Uncertainty danced in his eyes, accompanied by something else that she didn’t quite understand. He didn’t move to stop her, letting her ghost her fingers up through his hair in an attempt to comfort him the way he always comforted her and had since she was nothing more than a child. 

“You’re so brave, Xander,” Corrin said quietly, her voice quivering with feeling. “You’ve always been so brave. But I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was watch as Hans slaughtered the people I tried to save.” 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, and then pulled her back against his chest, embracing her warmly. “I wish that I could have been there to carry you through it, but I am here now. Whatever comes next, you won’t be alone. I swear it.”

Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around him, feeling him tighten his grip on her. It made her feel…. Safe. Safer than she had felt since she’d left the Northern Fortress, safe the way she’d felt listening to his practice blade slice through the night air as she drifted off, counting his strikes. Even now Xander was the only person in her family who could make her feel this way, the warmth of his body enveloping her in a sense of absolute love and security. 

“I don’t want you to have to carry me, Xander,” she mumbled against his shoulder after a long moment. “I don’t want to be a burden to you when you already carry all of Nohr on your shoulders.” 

“You are not a burden,” Xander whispered emphatically into her ear. “After all we have been through, I promise that you could never be a burden.”

“Then at least let me help you,” Corrin tightened her hold on him, swallowing past the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. “I know what I have to do now if I ever want Nohr to know peace. I… I have to play Father’s game. Please, Xander… Let me help you. Don’t… Don’t carry Nohr alone.”

“I couldn’t ask you --”

“I’m not letting you ask me, Xander,” Corrin said, firmly. “I’ve seen it now. I’ve seen how everyone is suffering. I always knew, but…” She drew in a shaking breath through her teeth. “Xander, please. I want to help. I’d do anything to save Nohr from itself.”

At the words, Xander drew back and stared down into her face, his deep red-violet eyes seeming to search her expression for something. 

And for a moment, all she could do was stare, watching his lips part slightly, his head tilting downward so that she could see the straight, noble line of his nose. Even his brow softened just enough to remind her of the times he would smile and his entire face would light up with affection. 

Painfully, the lump in her throat shifted as she realized that he was  _ handsome _ , breaking eye contact to stare at the patterns in the wood of the dock. 

“You should get some sleep, little princess,” he muttered after a quiet moment, drawing his hands away. “Tomorrow, you and I will set out to inspect the lines together, and I will show you how to bear the burden of command.”

She looked back to him, finding him wearing a smile on his lips as he inclined his head and pressed a soft, affectionate kiss to her hairline. 

“Thank you,” he breathed as he pulled away. “I will see you in the morning.”

Face burning in the darkness, Corrin looked away quickly, listening to the sound of him rising, his armor shifting as he walked away into the night. As always, he left her with thoughts dancing in her head, but this time Corrin knew for certain that they shouldn’t be there. 

* * *

Over the next several days at sea, Corrin was able to keep herself busy even though she was spending more time with Xander than she ever had before. It was easy to forget what had happened while she was grieving, lonely, and sleep deprived sitting on a dock in the middle of the night, even easier when he filled her hours with inspections and drills and long discussions about strategy with the core members of her army. 

But eventually there wasn’t much more they could do, having worked through everything they could while not yet on Hoshidan soil. That left Corrin’s mind and body both restless, and she found herself up on deck one night, surprised to see that the utter blackness had been replaced by heavy mist. Immediately, she knew they had crossed the invisible border that divided the sky, that they were back in the East. 

Carefully, she made her way across deck, a familiar shape leaning against the starboard railing catching her eye. Xander, staring into the mists, for once not wearing his armor and dressed down just like she was, though his circle still sat heavy against his blonde curls. 

Corrin hesitated, considering leaving him be, but something about the way he looked called to her. Forlorn, with an expression sad enough that it reminded her how much he really carried around with him, she couldn’t resist walking towards him and joining him. 

“What are you doing up so late, Xander?” she asked him, his hands tightening on the rail as he snapped his gaze towards her, a sure sign that he’d had no idea she was there. “It’s normal for me to be up, but you usually keep such a tight schedule…”

“It’s difficult for me to sleep this far East,” he explained. “The light…” Vaguely, he gestured towards the sky, “I suppose that everything I do is quintessentially Nohrian.” 

Corrin looked at him for a moment, watching the way the sea breeze loosened his curls into ringlets, and then joined him against the railing. Her eyes found the crow’s nest, dampness clinging to her skin and clothing, refreshing after being stuck in the stuffy below deck for sleepless hours. 

“In Hoshido, I could never sleep,” she admitted. “The months I was there I felt completely out of place. You would think how eager everyone was to see me would have made me feel better, but it didn’t. I only felt... “ Corrin shook her head and sighed, tugging at her long braid anxiously. “I felt like they wanted me to be someone I couldn’t be and even though everything is objectively better there, I found myself missing Nohr.” 

Corrin hesitated, glancing back towards him, her chest growing tight for a moment as she looked up into his face. She had hoped… She didn’t know. That she would stop seeing him as handsome when things went back to normal between them?

But Hoshido had changed her too much, changed the way she saw Xander, and looking up into his attentive, gentle face, she still couldn't help but admire him -- Inside and out. 

She reached up and rubbed the back of her neck, tearing her eyes away from him, trying to find the power to speak again. “I missed you. I kept hoping you would come for me, and you… You did.” 

“I couldn’t leave you there,” Xander said too quickly, his voice taking a tone she had never heard before. “Though I am ashamed to admit that I feared you would choose to return with them when the High Prince extended his hand to you.”

Corrin hesitated, then reached out, brushing her fingers softly over the back of his hand. Shock fluttered across his features, but he quickly disguised it, instead turning his palm face up and allowing her to lace their fingers together. 

“For a moment, I almost did,” she admitted to him, afraid of his reaction, though his face didn’t change at all when he heard the words. “But then I saw you and I remembered everything you protected me from and how much you all loved me. Ryoma… There’s something to be admired about him but he doesn’t understand that you’re all just as much a prisoner to Garon as I was.” 

Corrin laughed quietly and bowed her head, staring into the waves, though Xander squeezed her hand in gentle reassurance. 

“Still am, really.”

He did not respond, not immediately. A cool breeze picked up, tussling his hair as he stared out into the water, the mists somehow serving to highlight how pale he truly was. His lips quivered, as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t quite sure how, his eyes flickering towards her before he offered her a smile and then, finally, gave a heavy sigh.

“Would you hate me if I were to admit that I felt envious of your Hoshidan family?” Xander asked, turning to face her, though he did not let go of her hand. “Together, you would have made a complete family, one not marred by the mistakes of a parent who…” 

He shook his head, then reached out with his free hand, taking a step closer in the process, catching an errant stand of her hair between his fingers and brushing it gently behind her ear. Against her better judgement, she felt her cheeks heat up as she stared up into his face, her mouth hanging open slightly as she searched for a response that never came. 

Xander took another breath, his eyes flickering briefly towards their conjoined hands, and for a moment he simply stared. Corrin couldn’t read his face, though he looked deeply concerned, as if something had only just occurred to him in that moment. 

When his eyes returned to her, the expression in them was so tender that it made her chest ache for him. 

“I’m glad that you’ve returned to me, little princess,” he said, his thumb brushing gently over the back of her hand, “returned to  _ us _ .” 

The way he said the words made her stomach churn in nervous anticipation, her breath hitching as he leaned forward and pressed another goodnight kiss to her forehead as he dropped her hand. Then, without another word, he turned and left, leaving Corrin to stare after him dumbfoundedly, her heartbeat ringing in her burning ears. 


	2. Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly am Nohrian scum.

Corrin started when a heavy blanket was draped over her shoulders and a mug of coffee shoved underneath her nose. Already, she could tell Jakob had made it just from the smell, though it wasn’t his speciality by any stretch of the imagination… Though he’d never had served it in such an unceremonious way. 

Reaching out, she warmed her hands on the mug, looking up to find Xander, already sinking into place beside her. It was their third day camping on the shores near a land called Izumo while the bulk of their forces played games with the Hoshidans near the Spine and in that time, Corrin felt like she’d barely been able to breathe. Things had escalated so quickly, and she’d suddenly gone from a small unit commander to commanding an invasion force that needed several quartermasters to provide for their needs. 

If she didn’t have Xander…

How would she cope?

“Do you ever sleep, little princess?” Xander asked her quietly, amusement somehow highlighting the laugh lines that Camilla said had survived from their youth against all odds. “I’ll find you on the outskirts of camp at all hours of the night.”

“Says the man bringing me a drink that will only keep me up,” Corrin muttered softly, then laughed, pulling up a side of the blanket so that he could join her if he wished. 

Xander gave her a long look, one of the looks he had started giving her ever since that night on the ocean, but joined her nonetheless. With him beside her, she was much warmer, and she leaned into his shoulder, justifying her actions by telling herself that it was no different than when they were children. 

Even if every day Corrin became more and more aware of all the ways in which Xander was very much a man. 

Xander didn’t respond and Corrin simply sighed, closing her eyes and taking this scene in. After years alone with Gunter, Jakob, Felicia and Flora just being able to be with him like this still felt remarkable, just like every afternoon walk with Leo, tea time with Elise, and morning exercise with Camilla. For years she had longed to be with all of them like this, prayed tearfully into her pillow to the Dusk Dragon that one day her siblings would be able to answer all of her calls when she was lonely. 

And now she was only able to worry that her growing attraction for Xander was ruining it. 

“Soon we will be facing your siblings,” Xander said softly, drawing her eyes towards him, his expression one of concerned contemplation as he stared out into the misty night. “Are you prepared, Corrin?”

“I’ve already faced Hinoka and Takumi,” Corrin assured him, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “I don’t want to do this, but they refuse to listen to me any longer, so they’re not really leaving me a choice.” 

She exhaled softly, turning her head to bury it in the folds of his shirt, breathing in the cleanly laundered scent. “At this point, the thing that worries me most is losing to Ryoma. He fights with a scared weapon and even with Grim Yato, I somehow feel like I’m not ready. Like I’ll never be ready.”

She felt his muscles tense, heard the way his tongue flicked out to lick his lips, and then looked up into his face to find her staring back down at her. 

“Then we should train,” he said, though the words didn’t surprise her when she had practically expected to hear them. 

Though she was loathe to get out from underneath the blanket and hadn’t even touched her coffee, Corrin smiled and nodded, a thrill of excitement shooting 

through her at the chance to resume their old activities. 

“Now?” she asked, one of her hands reaching out to brush Yato’s hilt, the sword always at her hip.

Xander nodded, “if it pleases you.”

“Of course,” Corrin said, setting the coffee on the grassy ground before flinging the blanket off and stumbling towards her feet. “Come on, Xander. It’s been months. At this rate, you might be getting rusty.”

He laughed, shaking his head as he rose effortlessly to his feet, playfully pushing her shoulder. “I suppose we’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

And just like that, they were both falling into position, like nothing at all had changed, like the world itself hadn’t been ripped from underneath their feet. He moved, and she blocked and doged, spun and parried, trying to tap her with the side of his blade like he’d done countless times before. As always, he moved with relentless focus, and though she was much faster there was something about his stance that made him difficult to land a hit in on -- Something that had very little to do with his reach. 

The sounds of their sparring rang through the night, metal against metal, the sound of boots trampling the ground, grunts and huffs of exertion. It made Corrin feel alive, the cool mist clinging to her skin as her face heated and sweat formed at her hairline and on her brow, her body falling back into old patterns like she’d never lapsed in her training. 

Eventually, she was able to drive forward, feinting before she tapped the broad side of Yato against Xander’s leg. 

With no way of knowing how long it had gone on, it was finally over, Xander pulling his hand through his sweaty forelock. He smiled in satisfaction, eyes glinting with pride as he looked down into her face, Siegfried humming pleasantly at his side as it cast a pale lavender glow onto the ground below, reflected in the dew on the grass. 

“You’ve improved,” he said quietly, approvingly. “I’m impressed, Corrin, truly.”

“I still have a long way to go,” she responded, sheathing Yato, though she was unable to help the smile on her lips. “Maybe I’ll be able to defeat Ryoma one day, with your help.”

“The two of us are very different warriors,” Xander said, unbuttoning his collar, his eyes lingering on her for a moment. “High Prince Ryoma relies on speed, much like you do. He aims each blow with precision and has complete control over himself at all times.” 

He sighed, flexing his hand as he returned Siegfried to its rightful place at his side, his brows knitting together even more tightly, “I’m afraid I can’t help you know what to do in combat against a Samurai.”

“But you’ve fought him,” Corrin interjected, walking up to his side before hesitantly placing a hand on his arm, “and maybe by facing you I can learn to read a combat situation better. I’m… I’m still not used to it. Even after meeting the Rainbow Sage.”

She swallowed thickly, startled when Xander threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. Pressed against him, she looked up only to find him leaning toward her, face much closer than she was used to without so little warning. 

Corrin was now quite painfully aware of how little actually separated them, her words freezing in her throat, regret scattered in the wake of Xander’s overwhelming presence. It should have made her feel guilty, that the man she’d allowed to die for her to spare her the foolish consequences of her naivety could be so easily pushed away, but she could only concentrate on the sudden heat across her cheeks and the way her chest grew tight caught in Xander’s gaze. 

“You have proven yourself worthy of the blade you carry,” he said, bracing his other hand against her shoulder. “Like your fathers before you -- _ both _ of them.”

“Like you,” Corrin muttered, hesitantly reaching out a hand to place it on his chest. “I don’t remember Sumeragi, and I’ve never known the Father you knew, but Xander…” 

She felt him tense under his touch, his fingers twitching on her shoulder before he moved his hand, traveling slowly down her arm before he covered her hand with his own. Corrin watched his eyes flicker closed, his lips parting slightly as he swallowed. 

“Yes,” he muttered, “like me.”

For a long moment they stayed that way, his eyes closed, their hands pressed together against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat underneath her palm, steady and true, her own breathing slowly synchronizing with his own as they stood, statuesque, her entire body longing for his embrace and desperately wishing for him to never pull away.

Her mouth dry, she wet her lips to say something, but Xander chose that moment to step back. She watched his hands fall back to his sides, his fingers curling and uncurling in the air before he gave her a sheepish smile and, just like on the deck of the ship, turned away and walked into the mists. 

The sound of his bootfalls echoed in her mind for a long time after. 

* * *

There was no point in denying it anymore, Corrin thought, watching Xander waiting for the rest of their siblings in the hallway, dressed in the best he’d brought with them on their campaign. 

After he’d honored her request to save Ryoma and the others from the false Izana, agreeing so eagerly to forge a new Nohr with her, the Nohr she knew he had to see every time he closed his eyes, there was no way she could prevent herself from thinking of him. 

Xander was …. Amazing. 

The brother she’d always admired from afar in such a childish way was a complicated, quiet man with sad eyes and a gentle smile, and his strong shoulders bore the burden of an entire nation. He held up the Nohrian sky with patient hands, playing the role of the obedient son just as well as he wore the mantle of the stalwart prince and the paragon knight. 

And she was falling in love with him. 

Ever since he had saved her from her father’s demands by putting his own life and reputation on the line, her childhood admiration had started to morph into something more mature. 

Seeing him now, dressed in proper Nohrian attire instead of his armor, fitted vest showing off his broad shoulders and strong chest, his hair soft and clean, there was no way she could deny how attracted she was to him. Xander was handsome, so handsome that it made her heart ache, so handsome that she wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through his hair until it was disheveled and to see him look at her with the same regard in his eyes she held for him. 

But they were feelings she shouldn’t be having, so when he met her eyes and smiled she pushed them away. 

“Are you expecting this to be as awkward as I am?” Corrin asked him, stepping up to his side, lacing her fingers together behind her back. “Because I’m expecting Ryoma to be glaring daggers at the four of you the entire time, Takumi to not have a single nice word to say, and Hinoka to be as ruffled as a battle-worn pegasus.” 

“And the youngest?” Xander asked, curious, a small bemused smile on his lips.

“Cripplingly anxious but happy to see me and better behaved than the others,” Corrin said confidently.

She paused and sighed, tugging at her long, pink braid as she looked in both directions down the hall. Finding no one who could eavesdrop on them, she stepped directly into his line of sight, staring up into his face and telling herself that she was doing this to spare him a headache later. 

“Xander, don’t let Ryoma get to you. I… I know he was getting under your skin before with his bravado, but…” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I do think you’re the more attractive one.” 

Xander’s expression morphed into one of confusion before he laughed, shaking his head from side to side as his laughter shook his body. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m glad you’re on my side, little princess. Whatever would I do without your approval?” 

Flushing, Corrin opened her mouth to accuse him of teasing her when the sound of bickering prompted her to turn around. True to form, there stood Elise and Leo, arguing with one another about something she was sure was ultimately inconsequential. Sisterly instincts taking hold, she stepped forward and nearly the same time as Xander did, intervening to break up their spat. 

And just like that, the world went into motion again, Camilla and Azura following along, the group of them sitting down in the banquet hall. True to form, there were countless arguments, Ryoma sniping, Xander maintain his dignity. Sullen silence was interrupted only by Izana’s quiet jokes and the quiet clink of wood against ceramics and the sound of chewing, but when she met Azura’s eyes over the table…

Corrin couldn’t help but wish there could be a world with no barriers.

A world where a dinner like this could really mean something. 

Where they could mend these old wounds through some other means other than breaking and resetting the bones. 

After it was all over, she found herself exhaustedly making her way back to her room so that they could leave the next day bright and early. Asleep as soon as she managed to get off her boots and her head hit the pillow, the awoke a while later to sounds of exertion coming from the courtyard just outside of her room. Rolling onto her side, she watched the familiar shape of Xander moving, his silhouette casting shadows over he futon, backlit by the misty night. 

Slowly she sat up, pulling her boots back on, walking back outside to greet him.

He started when he hard the door slide open, his boots crunching on the gravel beneath him, eyes wide… But when he saw it was her, his face softened, though he didn’t quite smile. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked after a quiet moment, breaking the silence, unable to stop her voice from sounding weary. 

“I have too much on my mind,”  he confided, seemingly rooted in place until his hand reached up to tug at his hair too hard and he released a shuddering breath. “Corrin--”

Before he could stay anything else, she was wrapping him in her arms, pulling him close to her. In a moment’s time, he returned her embrace, melting into her touch and allowing her to support just a little bit of his weight as he slouched against her. She had never seen him so vulnerable, so unguarded, the fingers of one of his hands tangling themselves in her hair as he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. 

Corrin didn’t pull away, holding him as tightly as she could manage, rubbing soothing circles into his back with one hand. It didn’t feel brotherly, what he was doing now, and for the first time Corrin wondered if maybe she wasn’t alone in her feelings. 

When she looked up, Xander pulled away just enough for her to stare up into his face, his eyes tender. She felt his calloused fingers move from her hair to slide down her cheek, finding herself unable to resist the urge to lean into his warm, large hand. 

“What are you thinking?” she asked him at last.

Xander didn’t move away from her, but he did speak. “I keep wondering if you would have been better off remaining in Hoshido. I…” his voice lowered, and he tried to hide his face from her, but Corrin reached out with one hand to turn his head back towards her. 

“You what?”

“They’re not wrong about Father,” he said, his voice pained, “not entirely, at least. I see what he’s doing and I know that it’s wrong. I’ve known for years, and yet... “ 

Corrin pressed herself closer to him, his eyes widening at the action, though he didn’t pull away. Fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt, her hand sliding down to grasp his arm, Corrin laid her head against his chest and responded. “Nohr needs me, Xander,” Corrin told him. “It needs the both of us. Don’t you see that the soldiers are loyal to you? That we’ve already been changing the procedures in this army and waging as merciful of a war as we can? One day, Father will be gone, and then…”

She closed her eyes, breathing him in again, feeling his hand heavy against the back of her head, “Nohr will have you.”

“Us,” Xander corrected her gently. “Nohr will have us, my little princess.”

The possessive thrilled her, traveled right up her spine, but she didn’t move even still, afraid he would run away from her if she did. 

“Xander--” she began, but he hushed her, gentle. 

“Not now. It’s not the time or place for those kinds of discussions,” Xander said in a wavering voice, one the likes of which she had never heard before, his command more convincing than any plea. “Please, just let me hold you for now. That’s all that I need.”

Without any reluctance, Corrin indulged them both. 


	3. Justice, Rest In Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you want an NSFW one shot based on what happens in this chapter, just let me know. 
> 
> Part of me kind of wants to write it from Xander's point of view for the heck of it, primarily because I want to get into his head more, but you know. 
> 
> I wouldn't just spring an E rating on you guys without warning so have a tasteful fade to black.

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

It was Azura’s voice that drew her from her thoughts, and Corrin blinked, staring up from the fire that burned away the mists around them. She could still smell the blood, could feel the sore flesh were claws had ripped into her back and arms. She’d managed to withstand it, to end the life of the Kitsune Chieftain, watching him cough up blood, seeing the light leave his eyes, and… 

“Why did they have to fight to the last?” she asked, not bothering to look up into Azura’s face. “We tried to retreat, tried to spare them, but… I…” 

“That’s precisely it,” Azura responded, cutting her off, sitting down on the log beside her. “They did not allow us the opportunity to spare them. Ryoma would tell me that we should honor them by respecting their choices, not dwell on what we couldn’t do.” 

“Ryoma isn’t here.” Corrin’s fingernails dug into the tree bark, dragonstone flaring bright green as she choked down another wave of emotion. “And maybe Hoshido can get away with thinking that kind of thing, btu Azura… I’m Nohrian.  _ We’re _ Nohrian.”

She tilted her head back, staring up into the sky, her line of sight lost before the treetops. “Being Nohrian means we have a responsibility to spare as many people as we possibly can, no matter what. It means that we have to act ethically or everyone we cross will just assume we’re Barbarians and monsters.”

She heard Azura’s mouth open but stood before she could hear another objection. Corrin understood why Azura was still having a hard time opening up and trusting, she understood why Azura really only ever spoke to her or trusted her, but right now she didn’t have the energy to deal with it. She didn’t have the time to shoulder someone else’s insecurities. 

Corrin wasn’t a perfect person.

She knew she wasn’t a perfect person, but she just  _ couldn’t _ \-- 

She just couldn’t. 

Without another word, she walked away, with all intent to go back to her tent and try to sleep it off, and yet… Her feet carried her towards Xander’s tent instead. Carefully, she stepped inside, watching surprise flicker across his features from where he sat on an arm’s chest, taking off his boots. For a moment he remained that way, until his eyes took one look at her face and then he was holding her. 

“Xander--” she managed, gasping his name before all other words were choked off by the sound of her own sobs, her body trembling in his arms as she grasped at his shirt for dear life. “Xander -- Xander -- What have I done…?! I--”

“Let it out, little princess,” he said, chest rumbling against her, guiding them so that he was sitting down on the chest again. Carefully, he pulled her into his lap, his strong, gentle hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Don’t keep it in. You’re safe with me, I swear it.” 

Corrin felt her entire world crumbling around her, finally letting her grief explode after months of keeping it in. Ever since she’d gone to the Ice Tribe’s village and seen the havoc Nohr could wreak, could see how desperate and angry the family and friends of people she cared deeply for were just because of her Father, she had started to see exactly what it was that everyone hated about Nohr so much.

She had started to understand Hinoka, Ryoma, and Takumi.

And then Cheve had happened. 

Corrin had watched Nohr kill its own citizens on her father’s orders, and seen her father gloat about how brilliant he was as a result. It made her hate him, and that was something she never wanted to do, something she was terrified made her just like him. 

“How…?” She finally managed to gasp, not lifting her head. “How do you live with it, Xander? The lives. They’re so heavy. I can feel them pushing down on my chest when I sleep.” 

He didn’t respond immediately, something that made Corrin’s stomach churn with worry, because if even Xander didn’t know how to deal with it, what hope did she have? The silence rang in her ears, and she clung more tightly to him, desperately trying to regain control of herself, to find some semblance of sanity when her mind was racing with regrets and she felt her hand’s stained with Chief Kaden’s blood. 

“Where is this justice in all of this?”

Whatever trance Xander had been in, the words seemed to snap him out of it, and his voice came, level and filled with the kind of regret that she had never understood until she herself had gone to war. 

“There is no justice, Corrin. It is an illusion. Those who speak of justice can only afford its belief because they live in a world of right and wrong, of good and evil, where there are no abstracts and there is always a correct answer.” 

He reached out with both of his hands, leaving her to balance on his legs, as he cupped her face and lifted her head towards him. In spite of the severity of his words, she could see how soft his eyes were, the swipe of his thumb as he wiped away her tears her greatest comfort. 

“That is not the world we live in. You have seen the evil Nohr is capable of, as well as the blind self-righteousness of Hoshido. The truth is that all any of us can do is live by our convictions and treat others accordingly.” Xander leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together, and though the position could have been comfortable for him, she was glad of the contact nonetheless. “You ask how I live with what I have done? I tell you now that sometimes I cannot live with it, but what I can do is make sure to leave as much good behind me as I do harm. It cannot fix what I have done, nor can it make up for it, but people are more than the sum of their parts and I must believe that my intentions matter.” 

He breathed out slowly and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “and so, my little princess, must you.” 

They were so close now that she could feel his breath ghosting across her face and see her own reflection in his eyes. His words… They weren’t easy to swallow, like a bitter medicine, but she felt she had finally understood them even though he’d said them to her many times before. 

She felt better, though, just for hearing them.

Knowing that it was impossible to avoid hurting other people, that sometimes people made their own choices and all you could do was react… It was so much more comforting than thinking she had done something so wrong that it had tainted her. 

Had she followed Ryoma, would she ever have learned this lesson? 

Reaching out, she ran the fingers of one hand along Xander’s jaw, tracing the shape of his face with her fingertips. She watched as his eyes flickered closed and he leaned into her touch, her heart catching in her throat at the sight of him as he gently nuzzled her palm. 

And then, slowly, uncertainly, he pressed his lips against it. 

A shiver traveled through her body and up her spine, body freezing in place when he dropped one hand to her waist and used the other to direct her head towards him. There was no hesitation for what came next, the anticipation in her stomach finally travel hot up her spine when he brought their lips together and she sighed longingly into his lips. 

The noise seemed to startle him as he froze against her mouth, though not for long. Within moments his mouth was moving against hers again and he had pulled her closer to him, so close that nearly her entire body was pressed to his; something Corrin could hardly bring herself to complain about.

One of her hands tangled in his hair, grasping it firmly as she wrapped the other around his neck. He was warm and strong, a real comfort in her time of trouble, the most solid thing she had ever experienced in her entire life, somehow. 

And he  _ wanted _ her.

She could feel it in the way he grasped her hip, how he slowly sucked her bottom lip between his teeth only to deepen their kiss, his eyes half-lidded and longing. There was heat radiating from his body, the chest creaking as the hand on her face dropped to support their weight, bracing against the lid. 

When he finally broke away, his cheeks were flushed a delicate shade of pink that somehow enhanced the deep violet shade of his eyes. 

“How long?” he asked, ending the silence, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “How long have you… Felt this for me?”

“I… I don’t know. I first remember feeling something at Cyrkensia,” she admitted. “Some twinge of something in my stomach. Xander --”

He hushed her, pressing their foreheads together once more, “no. Don’t say anything more. I--” She watched as his eyes flickered closed, dark lashes standing out against his skin. “I need to think about what to do about this. But you must know that no matter what, I am always on your side.” 

His eyes opened and his smile was gentle, caring, “there is nothing you could do to change that.” 

Corrin swallowed and nodded. “Okay,” she muttered, reluctantly pulling away from him, regretting leaving the warmth of his arms already. “Okay,” she repeated, nodding again as she slowly backed out of the tent, turning around, though she looked over her shoulder at him one last time.

“Xander?”

“Yes, Corrin?”

She smiled, averting her eyes to stare at the threadbare carpet that served as the floor of his tent. “Thank you,” she said, and then took her chance to leave before she changed her mind. 

* * *

 

Life moved on and though Corrin didn’t forget about what had happened between them, she was able to put it aside for the sake of her mission. The march inland was ever slow, compounded by a winding journey up the Eternal Staircase haunted by Faceless the entire way. Leo had complained the entire time, though Odin had used it as an excuse to show off for Elise, much to Leo’s chagrin. 

The two of them didn’t always get along, but at the end of the day they were still siblings. 

In truth, Corrin had seen all of her siblings mature over the journey in some small way. Elise was more than ready to take on the burdens of a relationship now, even if it was difficult for the others to accept. She had grown up a lot on the road, facing each new trial with a budding grace that stemmed from a compassion she could tell Xander both cherished and admired -- A delicate commodity in the Nohrian army, one he and Camilla protected with all of their heart. 

Even Leo seemed less moody, stepping up to Xander’s side as the tactician he was surely always meant to be. His victory over Zola in Izumo seemed to give him new confidence, and his relationship with his siblings in general improved. It was good to see him spending less time alone. 

Even Camilla was growing better at respecting boundaries, learning more about herself beyond the borders of Nohr than Corrin suspected she could have learned elsewhere. 

It did her good to look at the positives of this journey and to realize that it did have positives, even moreso when she looked at the men and women in their command and realized that those people were growing more and more loyal to Xander… And to herself. They liked the different way of doing things, the sparing of civilians and the taking of prisoners, even if they still had to fight and kill. 

She often heard whispers of how much cleaner their battles were now, of how people didn’t feel like they were monsters but were fighting the just war they often told themselves they were fighting just to keep their sanity. Corrin didn’t believe there was anything like a just war, but if it made the soldiers keep hope she couldn’t begrudge them their reasoning. 

That night, they holed up just outside of the Wind Tribe’s village after a harrowing trial involving Dragon’s Veins and magic. It was the first time they’d really had to think or rest in a long time after their march towards Shirasagi and the heart of Hoshido. They would rest here as long as they were allowed to, raise their spirits and restock their supplies, and then…

And then the final march towards the end of it all. 

Towards the end of the war. 

Right now, she stood on an outcrop overlooking the camp, startled back to reality by a tap on her shoulder. Spinning, she found herself face to face with one of Xander’s retainers, grinning from ear to ear as he always did. 

“Laslow,” she said, taking the small piece of folded paper he held out to her, arm extended. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just running errands for Lord Xander, my princess,” he said with a flourishing bow. “He asked this note be delivered to you as soon as possible.” 

When she looked down at the piece of paper, her name written on the outside in Xander’s nearly perfect handwriting, she didn’t even wait for Laslow to leave before shaking it open. Her eyes scanned the words, and immediately she set back out for the camp, Laslow at her heels. 

“Was it that urgent, princess?” he asked, curiosity saturating his every word. 

“He said at my earliest convenience,” Corrin said, then paused, turning back around to look up into Laslow’s face. “Can you do me a favor?” 

“Anything for you,” came the charming response. 

“Tell Jakob that I might be busy for the rest of the night,” Corrin replied, pressing her lips together. “I don’t want him to worry any more than he already does.”

She really owed him so much.

The least she could do was let him know she would be okay. 

Without waiting for a response, Corrin turned around and practically jogged towards Xander’s tent, entering only to find him staring at some reports and rubbing his temple with his free hand. When she entered, he blinked owlishly from behind his tiny pair of reading spectacles and then smiled, setting the papers down only to rake his fingers through his hair. 

“Corrin,” he greeted, glancing down to the papers on top of the chest before his eyes jumped back to her. “You came so quickly.”

“This is my earliest convenience,” she asserted, not really sure what to do with her feet or hands, so she hovered near the tent flap. “Did you… want me to come back later?” She glanced towards the papers, “you look like you were busy.”

“No,” Xander’s voice came out curt, and as he lifted up his hands, she realized he must have done it unintentionally. “No. I just wasn’t expecting you to arrive so soon. I want you to stay.” 

His eyes fell again and he smiled, somehow uncertain, though not quite shy. “I’m not sure there is ever a way I could be too busy for you.” 

The words made her flush but they also made her brave and she took a few more steps into the room, lifting her head high to look up into his face. Xander met her gaze, though he didn’t move, bracing himself against his wartable with a single hand as he stared into her face. 

“So what is this about?” Corrin asked, watching Xander carefully, noting the way he seemed suddenly stiff, as if he were preparing to stand on ceremony.

She didn’t like that. 

“It…” he began, and then cleared his throat, his cheeks turning that lovely shade of pink once more. “It has come to my attention that after this war is over, I will need to settle down. I must think about the future of Nohr, and you…”

He sighed, his eyes finding her as he stepped forward, reaching out for her hand. Gently, be brushed his thumb over the back of her knuckles, his head bowed as he looked down into her face, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Awhile ago, you promised to help me bear the burden of Nohr. I…” 

She could tell what he was trying to say, and the way that he stared at their conjoined hands would have been as amusing as it was endearing if he didn’t seem so… anxious about this. Still, she waited, sensing that he needed to finish this of his own accord, knowing that if he asked, she would wait for him forever. 

“I want to accept your offer,” he said, and then, slowly, sank to a single knee. 

Even knowing what he was going to do, Corrin felt her heart leap into her throat and her eyes begin to burn. Swallowing thickly, she grasped his hand more tightly, trying to stop herself from shaking with joyful anticipation. 

“Please, little princess, I can think of no better future Queen for Nohr,” he bowed his head and sucked in a deep breath. “I love you.”

He smiled and his eyes captured hers, the nervousness drained from them, as sincere and passionate as she had always known him to be. “I have no ring to give you now, but I ask that you be mine. Wholly mine,” he licked his lips again, his eyes flashing with something far more raw than she had ever seen in his face before. “ _ Only _ mine.” 

The words sent a shiver down her spine, a thrill that somehow settled there as she took a step forward and cupped his face with her free hand. He turned his head to lay more kisses on her palm but didn’t close his eyes, still staring at her with a passion that made her knees feel weak. 

“You don’t care what anyone has to say?” she asked him, her voice barely a whisper. “That they look at us and see a brother and his sister?”

“They can think what they wish,” Xander said, his voice muffled by her hand, though it did nothing to dampen the resolve in it. “You were locked away for so long. All I want to do is show you the world as you were mean to see it.”

He tugged on her arm, pulling her down to him so that the both of them kneeled across from one another. Slowly, he dropped her hand, tracing his palms slowly up her sides. She couldn’t look away from him, his face relaxing just enough for her to see the depths of his affection, her throat growing tight at the sight of it. 

“Allow me to guide you in this, as well,” he muttered as he pulled her closer so that her chest was flush against his. “Share my burden with me, my life with me, and allow me to share yours. I don’t want to see you alone ever again, my little princess.”

Uncertain what to do with her hands, she placed them on his chest, her body trembling with joy and longing that she could scarcely contain. “Yes,” she managed, her voice thick with unshed tears, “yes, Xander, a million times yes. I love you. I love you so mu--”

He kissed her, then, and after that all she knew was Xander, the world outside dying underneath his steady hands and burning mouth. 


End file.
